From the class “Honest Information for Powerful Lives”
You can’t build a good life on a lie. At some point the lie will crash everything you’ve built. Even when you are determined to live an honest life, to do your research and to make the best decisions possible – you will face an avalanche of misinformation, deceit, conspiracies, fraud, corruption, immorality, crime and stupidity. There is a sucker born every minute and two to take him. I’m sure you aren’t a sucker, but if you don’t know how to discern honest information, your decisions will be in dangerous territory.
Most people who skip down the path to failure don’t want to be alone. They prefer to take others with them. They will do everything possible to convince you they are right and to deny that anything in their own life is wrong.
What chance do you have? Can you make it through this life without joining others on the road to failure?
Yes! Absolutely. You can be successful. You can have the best life possible for you and your situations. “Honest Information” will make it happen. Unfortunately, most people don’t want to be totally honest about any situation. They reject negativity and fuss when others try to give them evidence that their pending decision may be wrong for them.
I’m sure you’ve heard the cries….
“Leave me alone. It’s my life and I’ll do what I feel is best.” Translation – I am going to do this whether it’s right or not. I don’t want your input unless I get hurt. Then I’ll come running for help.
“Don’t be so negative.” Translation – Don’t give me any information that might change my mind.
“You are just jealous because you can’t do it.” Translation – I’ve got to make you the problem so you will leave me alone and let me do what I want.
While my class covers much more – the following 15 suggestions can help you strip away the blindfold and see the pure truth about any situation. While liars and marketers get better every day at fooling people, you still have a chance to see the truth if you are diligent. You may not want to use this method for deciding what to have for breakfast….(unless it’s absolutely necessary to prove that a maple nut coffee roll is actually better for you than the boiled egg) but you need to use this method to prevent as many life mistakes as possible.
If you are tired of being fooled by others or if you feel like you are always being taken advantage of, use these tips to get to the truth.
(1) Pray for Wisdom and Guidance. Life is so much better when God lights the path to the truth.
(2) Get all the facts you can. Do your research and never pass up an opportunity to learn more about your situation.
(3) Keep Emotions Out of your decision making process. I hate it when young adults say, “I know he/she is bad for me – but I love him/her! I can’t help it – I fell in love.” That’s just dumb. Love isn’t like walking across the street and falling into a man hole. You aren’t stuck forever in a damp dark place just because of love. Love (if it’s with the right person) actually sets you free and makes you better.
Get your emotions out of your decision making process. Don’t get married “just” for love. Don’t buy a car just because you love it. And don’t take that job just because it makes you feel good. Get all the details in order and if they point to the job, the spouse, the car – then after you’ve made your decision – add your emotions like frosting on top.
(4) Embrace the negatives. Making a good decision isn’t about convincing everyone else that negatives don’t exist. The biggest lie of all is that negatives disappear when a decision is right for you. Every new situation or decision will come with it’s own set of negatives. Embrace them. They will give you a hint of what your life will be if you choose that option.
I love being a speaker and author. It’s my dream job. Yet, it has a lot of negatives. Low pay, too much alone time in my office and a very messy house are only a few of the negatives. I still love my job and wouldn’t do anything else.
(5) Ask, “Is there a way out if this decision is a mistake?
(6) Determine what it will cost. Be sure and include the financial, emotional, physical, etc… especially the relationships. Don’t forget to determine your relationship with God as well as extended family, friends and society.
(7) Always look for the why. You haven’t done enough research if you can come up with a “why” question and no answer.
(8) What is the motive? Discover what your own motive is and then ask yourself about others involved. Is the motive power, money, fame, popularity or just to belong to a cause or click. If someone is pushing you to join their way of thinking, be sure and ask about their motives even before you research the facts they want you to believe.
Don’t trust a salesman or a marketing person. Don’t trust anyone who will benefit if you choose their way. Their only goal is to get you on their side so they will win the prize, make their goal, get a commission etc. If their real motive is their own greed or selfishness, you will always be the loser.
Remember: “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” I Timothy 6:10
(9) Determine not only the personal good you will achieve but also discover if there is a personal evil that could be a by-product of your decision.
(10) Will this decision ultimately add to the good for others – for society?
(11) Can you live just fine without it? Ron’s default saying for walking away from an unnecessary purchase is, “They made this one and I bet they will make another one just like it.” He’s rarely pushed into a purchase by a fast talking salesman. He seems to enjoy walking away and making his decision slowly. *Notice that he leaves emotions out of that statement and chooses to let patience guide him to a good decision.
(12) Turn the problem upside down, backwards and inside out. Do a life chart if you need to. Look at it from all sides and see if you can find some hidden agenda or motive. Finding the truth is often messy and difficult to swallow. Turn your thoughts upside down anyway.
I’ve had to do this with the past election. I have wonderful democrat friends. I hate knowing everyone is so upset. I wish we could all calm down. Yet, it’s been painful to listen to leaders and angry voters from the democratic party. They don’t seem to be concerned with the pain our country is going through. Instead, they want to push for more anger, more frustration and a halt to all work in Washington. That doesn’t seem right. I’ve prayed and prayed about it and wondered why grown men and women feel like their only goal is to take down our president without regard for what that would do to our system and the little guys struggling to make a living. The good of the country should be the overall goal – not their personal hatred for one person. It doesn’t make sense.
It finally occurred to me why there is so much out of control anger. When Obama was elected most of the country was disappointed and even angry about the outcome – but we accepted it and went on with life. Why can’t the democrats do that? They can’t accept it because they aren’t really mad at Trump….they are mad at the American people. How can they punish the voters who didn’t vote them back in? By making a conservative president fail. Hit him until the country is so devastated the American voter wouldn’t dare elect another conservative. Their anger is not really about Trump. Their anger stems from the thought how dare the American people elect a person who is not one of us. We will make their lives so miserable they will never do this again.
Yep, that makes sense. They have decided to punish you. The only way to do that is to make Trump the target for how much they despise you.
(13) Try to talk yourself out of it. If you can do that, it’s probably not a good decision.
(14) In all of the above, ask yourself – “How do you know?” My dad was an amazing pastor and a brilliant man. After Sunday morning church my kids would ride with him to go out and eat. He asked what they remembered about his sermon. When they re-told a point, he would reply – “But how do you know?” They would make a few stabs at supporting the evidence and then someone would say, “Because we trust you. You are our papaw.” He would smile and say. “Nope, not good enough. Always check on your source. Always make sure they are honest and know what they are talking about. Don’t ever just believe anyone – even me. Ask for supporting evidence. If your information is wrong, your life will be a mess.”
Don’t go to a divorced friend for marital advice. Don’t ask the poor guy how to get rich. Don’t ask the bad parent how to parent. Find that wonderful gem of a man or woman who has been successful at life and get the advice you need, not the advice that makes you feel good.
(15) Never make Quick life changing decision. Do your research. Make your chart. Look at the negatives. Get everything you need and then walk away and let it all simmer for a while.
I’m not perfect. I know I will make mistakes. Yet, in designing all my classes I have used the previous 15 ways (and more) to make sure I give you Honest Information for Powerful Lives.
There are more tips and a lot more information included in this class. I would love to teach this class in it’s entirety to your group.