6-20-11 Personal note…..I thought it was so fun that Darlene loved blonde jokes. We often traded jokes. I know her own hair was brown but I’m sure there’s a story there. Maybe she had a childhood friend that was blonde or maybe a family member. Does anyone know why a blonde story made her giggle?
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Have you stopped seeing great things happen in your life? Perhaps you have stopped believing that God can work in a mighty way even in our generation.– Luis Palau
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A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about a job.
In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP!”
In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!”
The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blonds laying sod across the street.”
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When you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.
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“Good morning, class,” Miss Crabtree said to her third graders as she began the school day. “Everyone get out your homework and pass it forward please.”
The students all passed their homework forward. Miss Crabtree collected them and began looking through them.
“Little Johnny, where’s your homework?” she asked.
“The dog ate it,” Little Johnny replied.
“Oh, come on, Little Johnny!” Miss Crabtree exclaimed. “You expect me to believe that ridiculous excuse? That was being said when I was in grade school! It’s old and tired!”
“But it’s true,” Little Johnny said. “The dog did eat my homework!”
“I’m not buying it, Little Johnny,” Miss Crabtree said. “Besides, everyone knows dogs don’t eat paper!”
“Tell me about it,” Little Johnny replied. “I had to cover it in peanut butter, hold him down and force-feed it to him before he
finally ate it!”
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If you keep your head and heart going in the right direction you’ll never have to worry about your feet.
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I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, ‘If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?’
‘NO!’ the children answered.
‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?’
Again, the answer was, ‘NO!’
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband,would that get me into Heaven?’
I asked them again. Again, they all answered, ‘NO!’
I was just bursting with pride for them..Well,’ I continued, ‘then how can I get into Heaven?’
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
‘YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.’
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Pineapple Cole Slaw
1 C. mayonnaise
1/2 C. sugar
3 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
1 8 oz. can pineapple chunks, cut in half
1 bag slaw mix
Combine all ingredients and chill for 2-4 hours.